Conflict

A practice

The conversation you keep not having

Most conflicts do not need a winner.
They need someone to go first.

01

Describe it plainly, the way it happened.

Not the version you would tell to win. What was said, what you did, what you are still carrying. The more concrete you are, the more useful the walk-through.

Not stored, not logged. It is gone when you close the tab.

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If you would rather do it without a screen

The eight moves, plain: do not bury it. Want the resolution more than the win. Agree on what happened. Meet the feeling before the fix. Say the real thing in your own words. Find the need under the need. Build a third way rather than a watered-down compromise. Close it, then do not disappear.
Before you start

Use it when you have rehearsed the conversation more than twice and still not had it.

The mistake that kills it. Preparing what you will say. Repair almost never fails on the opening line, it fails on what you do in the four seconds after they respond.

It worked when you can state their side in a way they would agree with.

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